Monday, July 6, 2015

A Dangling Modifier, Like, is a Bad Thing, Like, Right?!?!?!






I was cleaning out my photos in my phone and realized..

I MEANT TO BLOG ABOUT THIS!!!!!

Here’s a funny moment that happened at the end of the school year.  You know those few days before the BIG DAY - in our little world, it’s called the TCAP test.

You know those last days..the days when you come to the conclusion that based on review quizzes you have been giving to PROVE you have been teaching your heart out for a full year are only proving that you obviously showed the movie FROZEN every single day since August.  Those days when you question WHY you are a teacher.  Those days when your students give you that hairy eyeball look that means “If you give us one more test, one more assessment, one more review sheet, I swear I’m going to   )@%&)%&#TEGJNEY)&#)&735!!!!!!!”

You’ve all had enough.  You need this to be OVER
You need summer break.  You need to stop reviewing.  You need to stop stressing.  You need to stop stressing the kids out.  You need……………..

To review dangling modifiers ONE MORE TIME.

So here I go.  Making a PowerPoint.  Making a fun little review game.  Making a fun little group project.  Making a fun little quiz. 

Cue the hairy eyeball look from the “I’m sick of the cute stuff” group.



So, we are working, working, working.  I’m cheerfully encouraging the little angels to find the dangling modifier, find the split infinitive, find the misplaced prepositional phrase, find the.. find the.. find the..

When I hear THE VOICE.  The voice that you’ve grown to love to hear.  The voice that always has the right answers.  The voice that you don’t call on very often because you know THEY got it the first time you said it.  The voice that belongs to the girl whose life will end if her average drops below a 100% in ALL classes.  The voice of reason.  The voice of knowledge.  The voice of HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The voice that says AT THE END OF THE STINKING 8TH GRADE YEAR,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“So a dangling modifier, like, it’s, like, a BAD thing, right?  SO, like, we are looking for the, like, BAD sentence, right?  I mean, like, something called a, like, Dangling Participle is a BAD thing, like, right?”

Pardon my use of a foreign language here that is never used by a teacher ANYWHERE.

HOLY SHIT

So apparently, we just had an AHA moment in which the teacher discovered that these kids made it to the end of 8th grade without the understanding that

YES, Virginia!!!!!  A DANGLING MODIFIER IS A BAD THING SO PICK THE SENTENCE WITH THE BOO-BOO, you sweet little muffin of knowledge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cue -  two bottles of wine that night instead of the standard one plus the added bonus for my husband of crying on his shoulder an additional hour on top of the standard one hour.



Now, to the picture.  Our phenomenal gym teacher decided for each grade level to make posters to hang in the gym the week before tests.  Posters of encouragement or phrases we use to remember stuff or formulas that needed to be drilled and killed.  Your standard everyday offering to the testing gods via poster and markers.  We decided that one of our motivational pictures on our ELA poster must be in reference to the “Dangling Modifier is, like, a Bad Thing, like, right?” moment that almost took Mrs. Hensley’s life.  So my artist and his helper (aka the two boys who would do anything to skip related arts) decided to draw a cat named Modifier hanging dead in a tree. 

 Cue -  the emotional 14 year old girl who immediately bursts into tears and cannot be consoled until the……


Cat is changed to a cute little feline named Modifier who is simply dangling from a tree.




Which is a, like, a bad thing, like, right?